Naked Twitter
by Sunny's Priceless Dream
Summary: There's a reason why Christian's twitter was only up two days. What's Jericho have to do with it?


**A/N- This is set up differently than it would be on twitter. The "at" symbol doesn't show up on here, so I had to improvise. It's still easy to understand and follow. Enjoy!**

* * *

Jay sighed to himself. It seemed that if he wanted to get a work in with his co-workers he would have to tweet them. All everyone did anymore was walk around backstage on their cells, tweeting.

Tweeting.

What the hell kind of verb was that, anyway? After trying to get Ted's attention for a good twenty minutes, he gave up. Ted was apparently tweeting about his dog, Riggs. Miz was tweeting about some signing. Hell, even Stone Cold was tweeting, or so Jay heard.

Jay took his frustrations home. Kait sat and listened (or so he thought) to him rant for a while about how everyone was ignoring him and was tweeting instead.

"I just wanted to ask them a question, and they all ignored me! What is the world coming to?" Jay looked up from the bed and noticed Kait was paying him no mind.

"Are you tweeting too?" Kait immediately closed out of the web page and turned towards Jay.

"No babe, I was listening to every word." Jay watched as a notice popped up on the top right side of the screen. EDGESMONSTERCOCK1030 Sunnyyyyyyyyy 2 new tweets to Kaitasaurusx.

"Then what is that?" Jay pointed to the screen and Kait shrugged innocently.

"What is Mack going to say when she finds out you're talking to someone online who loves Adam and his cock?"

"...That is Mack."

"SHE HAS A TWTTER TOO?"

"Everyone has a twitter Jay." Jay began to say something else until he noticed Kait was once again ignoring him.

"It's sad that my own girlfriend would rather tweet than talk to me." Jay fell dramatically backwards onto the bed, his body sprawled out.

"Babe, why don't you just make a twitter for yourself?" Kait suggested, sick of his whining.

"I couldn't. I just wouldn't know what to say."

"Too bad you don't have that problem now."

"Since you insist, you can make me one." Kait rolled her eyes, but told her friends goodbye. She knew Jay wouldn't shut up until he had a twitter.

She set up his account; Christian'sPeepsWWE, put up his display picture, and filled in his info. After showing him how to work everything, she set it up on his phone so he could tweet whenever he wanted to. After spending twenty minutes trying to make him understand that he had to follow people to see their tweets, Jay was finally able to tweet on his own. He only followed a few people; Kait, Mack, Sunny, Ted, and Jericho.

"Alright, now tweet me from your phone and we'll hold a conversation to see if you're doing it right."

"Right." Jay took a few minutes before he figured out what he was doing without Kait's help.

Kait sat in the chair patiently waiting for him to tweet her. After five minutes, she was wondering what was taking him so long.

"Sometime today would be nice, Jay."

"Well...I don't know which one is you." Jay was looking at the names on his phone, studying each of them intently.

"Fuck Jay, it's not that hard. I'm not Sunyyyyy, or Edge'sMonsterCock, or TDMarine2, or iamJericho. I'd say I'm kaitasaurusx."

"I wasn't sure. How come your name isn't Christian'sMonsterCock?" Jay asked, while typing out his first tweet.

"I was going to use Randy's name, but it was taken."

"Ahh." Jay nodded his head in understanding. Kait continued to wait for him to tweet her. Finally, after what had to be ten minutes, a notice popped up on her screen.

Christian'sPeepsWWE- Hekko Kaut.

Kaitasaurusx- Beautiful spelling Jay, beautiful.

Christian'sPeepsWWE- My fungers r 2 big

Kaitasaurusx- Too bad that's the only thing...

Christian'sPeepsWWE- huh?

Kaitasaurusx- Nothing Jay. Go feed your cats.

As the days went on, more of his colleagues started adding Jay, and he was having a ball. He could finally talk to everyone and actually get an answer out of them. He was even enjoying the banter between himself, Sunny, and Mack.

Christian'sPeepsWWE- Offto tan

Sunnyyyyy- Bye sunshine!

Christian'sPeepsWWE- U go2 hel

Edge'sMonsterCock1030- Is Adam with you right now?

Christian'sPeepsWWE- He is gettyingg chrid from ther bar

Edge'sMonsterCock1030- I'm unfollowing you until you learn how to spell.

Christian'sPeepsWWE- u g2 hel 2

Jay never felt so involved with everyone. He was getting tweets from everyone; Miz, Shad, Cena, Ted, JR, Hardy..the list goes on.

But all good things must come to and end.

IAmJericho- Send me a naked picture of you!

Christian'sPeepsWWE- Leave me alone Chris!

IAmJericho- Come on, just one. No one will know. You can DM it to me.

Christian'sPeepsWWE- no!

IamJericho- Come on sexy, send me one where you're posing in the bathroom, right before you shower.

Christian'sPeepsWWE- That is sick, Chris. I will not send you naked pictures of me.

IamJericho- Send me one of you touching yourself. You know you want to.

Christian'sPeepsWWE- I do not want to. Stop harassing me.

IamJericho- It's one picture, what will it hurt?

Christian'sPeepsWWE- You just got released from jail about twelve hours ago for inappropiately touching that guy at Denny's.

IamJericho- That was a mistake. I tripped and my hand fell on his toned thigh. I got up and accidently grabbed his pecker.

Christian'sPeepsWWE- Pecker? Really? And it was no accident. They pulled you off as you were lowering your head down.

IamJericho- We're not to be talking of that baby, lets talk about you sending me a picture. Of you. Naked.

Christian'sPeepsWWE- I don't think Kait would appreciate that.

IamJericho- Why? I send her naked pictures of me.

Christian'sPeepsWWE- Liar. The only naked picture she has is of Randy; the one that is rotated between her, Mackenzie, and Sunny.

IamJericho- I promise not to rotate yours. It'll be for my pleasure only.

Christian'sPeepsWWE- For the last time Chris, no!

IamJericho- Come on Jay. I can make it worth your while.

Christian'sPeepsWWE- FUCK YOU CHRIS GOD DAMMIT I SAID NO. GO FUCK YOURSELF

IamJericho- I'm reporting your twitter for abuse. And FYI, I will go fuck myself.

Christian'sPeepsWWE- What's FYI? 

Jay never received a reply from Chris, but the next time he tried logging onto twitter, his page no longer existed. He tried to get someone to show him what he was doing wrong, but no one seemed to know. The next time he was home, he got Kait to check it.

"How did you fuck it up already, Jay? You only had it a week." Kait messed around with it for a few minutes before giving up.

"I got this email from twitter saying I abused my rights or something."

"The only way to do that is if someone reported you."

"Well...Chris mentioned doing something like that."

"Why?" Kait knew how Jericho could be, but she didn't think he be such a dick to Jay.

"I wouldn't send him a naked picture of myself, he was persistent, and I swore at him."

"Why didn't you just send him a picture?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Everyone does! It keeps him happy and out of our hair for awhile."

"So you have sent him naked pictures?"

"Of course. So just do it next time. But for now, your twitter is under suspension for ten days. After that, you can tweet again."

Jay was lonely again for the next ten days. He didn't have anyone to talk to. But he did run into Chris, who ignored him on his quest to spy on Randy in the showers. When his ten days were up, Jay immediately took a picture of himself and sent it to Chris.

IamJericho- Just received a naked picture of Christian'sPeepsWWE. What a pervert.


End file.
